Honour all men
Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king. — 1 Pet 2:17 (KJV).
In 2022, I discovered a hidden treasure in this verse, i.e., Honouring all men. I began to practice honouring all men, and I was (and still I am) pleasantly surprised by its impact. The impact on my life is enormous.
So, what does honour mean?
Merriam-Webster dictionary describes honour as regarding or treating (someone) with admiration and respect or giving special recognition (to someone).
We can show our admiration and respect in many ways. For example, we can communicate honour through our actions, words, service, or even giving gifts.
You may wonder why honour is significant. Why is there such a disproportionately positive response to it? It has to do with the psychology of man and our need for esteem.
Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist, developed a theory that grouped man’s needs into five i.e., psychological, safety, love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization. He arranged these needs in the form of a pyramid and posited that people tend to look for the satisfaction of the higher needs once the lower needs are satisfied. If you are interested in a deep dive into Abraham Maslow’s work, many excellent articles are available online about the hierarchy of needs. I recommend the ones in the references as a starting point.
Close to the top of the pyramid is the need for esteem. Everyone desires to be esteemed and respected in society. According to Saul Mcleod, the first four needs, including esteem, are called deficiency needs. He further said:
Deficiency needs arise due to deprivation and are said to motivate people when unmet. Also, the motivation to fulfil such needs will become stronger the longer they are denied.
Esteem, a deficiency need, is a need that people continually look to satisfy, and honour satisfies this need. We all desire the admiration and respect of peers and non-peers.
Now, we know from experience that human beings are flawed. That’s not news. However, if we look past the flaws and dig deep, there is something admirable about everyone (even if we have to dig very deep for some people). If we find and honour it in this person, we draw the person to us. As long as we continue feeding this need, we will have access to certain circles we never expected.
Also, human beings tend to reciprocate in like manner; if we honour people and satisfy this deep need, they gravitate more towards us and honour us in response.
Though esteem is a deep human need, we find it difficult to honour one another. Why? It could be for many reasons, but pride is a significant reason.
Honouring another person requires accepting other people’s qualities or achievements are worthy of admiration. Sometimes, we do not have these qualities or outstanding achievements. However, our pride minimizes the unique qualities or achievements of others while exaggerating ours. As a result, many people find it challenging to honour others. Pride or ego hampers honour. Communicating honour requires humility. Also, humility is essential because honour is meant for all men despite their status in life.
It is important to note that though honour is meant for all men, some people are worthy of double honour.
Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine. — 1 Timothy 5:17 (KJV)
People who selflessly serve the community, country, nation, or even the world in any manner are worthy of special honour, for example, pastors, volunteers helping out the unprivileged, etc. These people have foregone personal satisfaction for the good and health of all under their watch. Honouring these people, especially if we have direct access to them, gives us the opportunity to learn from them and share their admirable qualities (especially if you desire those qualities). In the end, we become better people and better members of society.
So, what did I discover in the last year? Though honouring cost me my pride and showed me that I am not the centre of the universe, it rewarded me by opening unprecedented doors and opportunities. People gravitate toward me and treat me differently because I satisfy a deep longing within them. Indirectly, they then meet the needs within or around me.
And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise — Luke 6:31 (KJV)
Finally, if you desire your esteem need satisfied, start by satisfying that of others. Try it and let me know how it goes.
Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king. — 1 Pet 2:17 (KJV).
